3 days away!!!

I'm counting down the days...3 to be exact until I will get to see my little guy. He's not so little since he's 4'6" which is as tall as alot of 6th graders. Anyway we're going on an adventure next week up to Colonial Williamsburg...GOING TO BE A BLAST!!! Cam has a love for American History just like me which makes this kind of sightseeing adventure virtually painfree for all involved. :)

My Graduation!!!

It's been 2 1/2 years and

I'm finally a professional cosmetologist.

Long road with lots of long days

and strained relationships.

I'm looking forward to a bright

and happy future for me and my family!

My big toe!!!

Well I haven't posted in awhile because I kinda forgot about my blog. hahaa! I haven't been sitting at a desk all day so I'm not online nearly as much as I used to be. Anyhoo...I injured my toe earlier this week and you'd think I'd broken my leg. I think I'd rather break my leg actually. At least I wouldn't feel like such a dork...duurrrr my toe hurts so bad!

so gross!!!!!!

These boots are made for walking?

So I bought these super cute red slouchy "cowgirl" boots. (a cowgirl I am NOT...but I do love cute shoes) Anyway they smell soooooo bad! My poor coworkers are having to smell my stinky shoes in this tiny office. Leather is more expensive so I opted for the "man made" material...I am on a budget after all. The heat from my feet is making the smell even stronger! HAHAA!!! A big price to pay for great shoes? I'll have to think about that as my nose recovers.

These boots are definately made for walking...OUTSIDE IN THE OPEN AIR!!!!

Stress

So I'm stressed from work and school and work and school and work and school...you get the picture right? I went to the doctor on Friday and guess what?

My blood pressure was 145/90.

SUPER DUPER!!!

So I can go on meds which I hate the thought of or I can reduce the stress in my life.

EASIER SAID THAN DONE!!!

I'm going to take the "reducing stress in my life" route.

First step...Quit my job!

BAD HAIR...it's EVERYWHERE!!!

I went to Hell-Mart last night after work for some packing tape and noticed that every single employee had CRAZY JACKED UP hair! If that wasn't bad enough...most of the people shopping there did too.

Now some people can't afford to go and spend the money on getting their hair done...but they can brush it or use some damn shampoo...you know the soapy stuff that suds up and cleans the nasty grease and grime. But its not just just the ratted and dirty hair...what about the horrific haircuts? And the lack of haircuts...OMG!!! Just because its long doesn't mean its beautiful!!! If you don't get a "trim" regularly you'll have frizzy stringy splint end hair.

Okay I'm done.

*one more thing...there are some folks that do go and get their hair done and still have bad hair. one of my coworkers got a "trim" and perm this past weekend...now she looks like she belongs on the Dutch Boy paint can! HA HAA!!!...bad hairdressers are out there...be careful

my friend

There’s been a lot of things/occurrences that have happened in my life and I’ve never really questioned WHY?...just took it in and made the best of it. All I’ve been doing since I learned of Troy's death 16 days ago is ask WHY over and over again. This is not like me at all and if I were to give advice (which I love to do) I’d say “things happen for a reason and one day it’ll all make sense...he's in the most glorious place now and he's peaceful”. This time I can’t follow my own advice for some reason.

When she walked through that door of the viewing room last Monday morning…I knew it was her. He’d told me so much about his coworker Tina that I feel like I knew her. The thing that was so unbelievable to me was that she told me to keep whatever he'd given me because he wanted me to have it. Not 5 minutes earlier I was talking to him and telling him that I never got around to returning the shoes and scarf he bought me for my birthday. I told him that I guess I was meant to keep them.

I wasn’t talking to his body but I felt like he was in the room and he was listening to me. I had been there for awhile and told him everything I was feeling/thinking. I apologized for being mean. Our last conversation wasn’t a good one but I knew that it would be okay if things just settled down a bit. Like Tina said…Time wasn’t on our side. I regret so much not making amends. My heart and soul are shattered by his untimely departure and I don’t know what to do. I’ve cried everyday since December 31st. The slide show at the service made it worse. A couple of the pictures showed that he was wearing the shirt I bought him…glad he liked it! But the pictures from Thanksgiving with Ryley were so beautiful and he looked so happy…why does she have to grow up without an incredibly loving dad? I know he’ll watch over her but she won’t remember him and it breaks my heart. I was going to go over there that weekend but decided to leave town instead to visit my Great Grandma in Reno…did I make the right choice?

Troy did come on very strong and I didn’t know he annoyed everyone with phone calls and text messages…so that was good to hear at the service. We weren’t meant to be a couple and I knew he was falling much harder than he should’ve been which is why I ended things so abruptly. I tried to be rational about the whole thing but he wasn’t getting it…so I was harsh. I always try to be kind to everyone because you never know what will happen. This is a really difficult reality to swallow. Troy needed me to be a great friend…I failed and I’m truly sorry.